“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Most of us are feelings-illiterate. I don't say this as a judgement ; I say it as a sad truth. We live in a culture that emphasizes most things masculine (doing, progressing, thinking) and undervalues the qualities of the feminine (being, reflecting, feeling). While we all experience the entire spectrum of emotions, most of us get lost in this territory.
Hopefully I can help with that.
I’m pretty good at recognizing the emotional states of others, but pretty poor when it comes to myself.Not always, but fairly often, I won’t realise I’m angry, sad or even happy until after the event. I’ve gotten better as I’ve grown older, but my lack of awareness at times still amazes me. And I’m a shrink!
Does the same go for you? Many of us think we are good at emotional self-awareness, but often we’re hopeless! We don’t tend to think about it, but often those around us know it only too well – but they politely and with good intentions keep it to themselves to keep the peace. Meanwhile we wallow in our emotional ignorance.
It's crucial for us to understand that our feelings are OUR feelings. They belong to us. So they're ours to work through. Lots of us didn't get that memo.Here's the point:We all have unique personality and triggers.What makes me feel bad is very different from what makes someone else feel bad.Thats because my wounds badly influence my bad emotions.
Given emotions are so central to everything we do – why don’t we do more to understand our feelings?Its very important for us to learn how to live with our feelings.Because we all have feelings! They're the natural part of life.They're the beautiful part of life.
More or less, the quest to improve our understanding of our emotional state adds color and meaning to our existence. In fact I think wisdom is the combination of knowledge gained over time plus intelligence plus emotional awareness. And don’t we all aim to become wise – eventually?
Most of us are feelings-illiterate. I don't say this as a judgement ; I say it as a sad truth. We live in a culture that emphasizes most things masculine (doing, progressing, thinking) and undervalues the qualities of the feminine (being, reflecting, feeling). While we all experience the entire spectrum of emotions, most of us get lost in this territory.
Hopefully I can help with that.
I’m pretty good at recognizing the emotional states of others, but pretty poor when it comes to myself.Not always, but fairly often, I won’t realise I’m angry, sad or even happy until after the event. I’ve gotten better as I’ve grown older, but my lack of awareness at times still amazes me. And I’m a shrink!
Does the same go for you? Many of us think we are good at emotional self-awareness, but often we’re hopeless! We don’t tend to think about it, but often those around us know it only too well – but they politely and with good intentions keep it to themselves to keep the peace. Meanwhile we wallow in our emotional ignorance.
It's crucial for us to understand that our feelings are OUR feelings. They belong to us. So they're ours to work through. Lots of us didn't get that memo.Here's the point:We all have unique personality and triggers.What makes me feel bad is very different from what makes someone else feel bad.Thats because my wounds badly influence my bad emotions.
Given emotions are so central to everything we do – why don’t we do more to understand our feelings?Its very important for us to learn how to live with our feelings.Because we all have feelings! They're the natural part of life.They're the beautiful part of life.
More or less, the quest to improve our understanding of our emotional state adds color and meaning to our existence. In fact I think wisdom is the combination of knowledge gained over time plus intelligence plus emotional awareness. And don’t we all aim to become wise – eventually?
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